The End's Blade
by Lopithecus
Summary: Dean promised Sam he would go to Lisa, but what happens when he brings a fallen angel with him? Slight changes to Season 5's Swan Song then continues with pre-season 6; MAJOR SPOILERS FOR SWAN SONG; M/M; Slash; More warnings inside (Please read them); Will be updated irregularly until further notice
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One:**

**A/N: This plotline has been driving me crazy and I finally figured out how I wanted it to start… so here you go. :) Also this isn't always going to be in Dean's POV, some will be in Castiel's. It will be updated irregularly until I finish some of my other stories that I'm working on but I really wanted to post it.**

_**WARNING #1:**_**This story has spoilers. This starts at the beginning of Season Five episode twenty-two "Swan Song" but then the rest is set before Season Six during the year Dean spent with Lisa, so major spoilers for the last episode of Season Five and there may be some for Season Six. **

_**WARNING #2:**_** This has slash and graphic scenes. Please, if you don't want to read that then turn back now.**

_**WARNING #3:**_** I wanted to try something different so during the sex scenes I decided to stray from the swear words and go with the actual medical words. If that makes you awkward and you don't want to read something like that, turn back now because that's how it's going to be throughout the whole story.**

** Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters. They belong to their rightful owner.**

**Now that I think that is done and over with, let's get this show on the road.**

**Enjoy. :)**

After telling Sam that he is fine with the whole saying yes to Lucifer plan, he goes back into Bobby's old, run down house. He grabs a beer from the refrigerator and makes his way upstairs to the spare bedroom that Bobby never lets Dean or Sam sleep in. Dean can't complain, he would rather sleep in the same room as Sam anyways. Maybe deep down Bobby knows this and that is why he makes the two of them sleep in the library.

There's a knock on the door and Dean turns around from looking out the window. The beer bottle has condensation on it and it's causing Dean's hand to become slippery. "Yeah?" He expects it to be Sam but instead Castiel walks in. "Cas?"

"I wanted to check up on you." The former angel announces.

"Uh… thanks." Dean steps away from the window and closer to the man. "So, how does it feel being human?" He asks, remembering 2014 all of a sudden.

Castiel looks away in shame. "It… uh… feels weird. There are these feelings that I can't place and I just feel…" He looks at Dean again and Dean hates seeing the loss in his eyes. "empty."

"Yeah well, join the club." He walks to the bed ignoring the flash of hurt in the blue eyes that he has learned to associate with the angel. He flinches slightly when he remembers saying those same words to the future, drug addict Castiel.

He hears Castiel take a deep breath, probably to calm those emotions he was talking about. "How do you feel?"

"Me?" He asks incredulously. "I'm peachy Cas, you know my brother is going to be going into a hole but it's all good." He gives Castiel a thumb up.

"You don't have to be mean." Castiel points out and Dean rolls his eyes.

Dean stands again, the bed giving a slight creak, and places the beer on the nightstand. "Look, I'm sorry okay? In a few hours I'm going to be losing my brother Cas. I'm just…" He doesn't continue, not really wanting to spill his guts to the fallen angel.

"You still have Bobby." Castiel shrugs, a human gesture he must have picked up from one of them. "You still have me."

Dean looks at the man with surprise. "Cas, I didn't mean it like that." He looks into those hopeless eyes and Dean wants to wipe that look away, give him something he can count on and hope for. Dean takes a step closer to the blue eyed body. Castiel doesn't step away and let's Dean stand close to him. "I know I still have you two." Dean reaches a hand up and cups Castiel's cheek and watches as confusion wipes over Castiel's features.

He's not really sure what he is doing. He's feeling so much pain at the moment, pain he knows that will triple in power once Satin is riding Sam like a whore, that all he wants is to bury himself in something else. He wants to distract his mind from the thought of Lucifer walking around in his brother's meat. He wants to cry it hurts so badly.

Dean leans forward and presses his lips to the chapped lips of Jimmy's, no, now Castiel's. When Castiel doesn't freak out and push him away, even starting to participate a little, he decides that it's a good sign and can take it a little further. He pulls away from Castiel and looks him in the eyes. "You remember when I said I wasn't going to let you die a virgin?" Castiel nods the slightest bit. "Well, if Sam can't take over the devil then we probably will die. You're still a virgin Cas…" He stops there, hoping that he can put it together on his own.

"I don't understand Dean, you're not into men." Castiel furrows his brows and tilts his head. "Why do you want to…" He can see Castiel searching for the word.

"Maybe I'll make an exception for you, after all, it's not about the outside, it's about the inside." Dean tells him. He kisses him again, this time a little more rough. He uses his calloused hands on the angel's, former angel's, shoulders to guide him to the bed, peeling off layers of clothing as they go. Soon Castiel is completely naked besides the boxers that Jimmy had on when Castiel took him over.

Dean carefully lays the man down on his back and starts to take his own pants off, his shirt disregarded somewhere along the way. Once the pants are gone, he looks Castiel over seeing the bump in his boxers. When he sees that, he's surprised to realize that it turns him on and that his penis is hard as a rock already. He never thought that a man's body would do this to him, but then again maybe it's just Castiel.

He suddenly feels bad about using Castiel like this but he doesn't stop. He continues, figuring it too late to stop now. He kisses the man below him again and starts to snake his hand down the body's abdomen, feeling the slight tremor of muscles there. He reaches the constricting boxers and slides them off. Dean looks down to admire the straining erection and with one swift movement, Dean's boxers are lying on the floor next to the other man's.

Dean grabs a hold of Castiel's arms and pulls him up into a sitting position. Dean is kneeling on his knees, butt resting against his heels. He has the fallen angel straddle his legs so he is sitting on them, knees on the bed and hands on Dean's shoulders. He places two fingers from his right hand in front of Castiel's mouth. "I don't have any lube at the moment so we'll have to use spit."

"For what?" Castiel's breathing is deep and his pupils are blown wide.

Dean looks at him, having to remind himself that the guy has no idea how this stuff works. "To… make it easier."

A head tilt in turn. "Is it going to hurt?"

"Um…" He has no clue how to answer this. "A little probably but don't worry. If it becomes too much for you, you let me know and I'll stop." Castiel nods and sucks Dean's two fingers into his hot mouth, never looking away from Dean's own eyes. Dean can see the skin on Castiel's vessel start to glisten with sweat. He pulls his fingers out of Castiel's mouth when he thinks they are slick enough and trails them down Castiel's back. When he reaches his round, plump buttocks, he hesitates. "You ready?"

Castiel nods and Dean proceeds with pushing one finger in slowly. Castiel groans but it doesn't sound like a painful noise so he continues. It feels weird. Dean half expected it to feel like a woman's when you are working her but it doesn't. Dean finds it hard to explain the difference, he just knows that it is. Somehow, that exact thought turns him on even more and the sweat is starting to come from his pores.

He adds another finger, watching Castiel's face to make sure he's not in pain. Castiel has his eyes shut and his mouth open in silent gasps, his breathing coming in deep gulps. His eyes then shoot open when Dean finds that one spot inside the vessel that he was hunting for. Castiel looks at him, a little frightened. "Dean, what was that?"

Dean chuckles. "Just enjoy it." He continues to prod and rub that spot with his fingers, feeling Castiel's erection leaking precome on his stomach.

"Dean." That moan goes straight south and Dean has had enough. He pulls his fingers out and pushes Castiel's right shoulder to turn him around, making him get on his hands and knees. He spits on his hand and rubs the liquid on his own erection. Castiel's back is shimmering with sweat and it turns Dean on even more. He pulls Castiel's shoulders up so the former angel is kneeling on his knees in front of him, his back to Dean.

Dean lowers his head and bites the crook of Castiel's neck, eliciting a sharp cry of surprise from Castiel. Dean licks the spot, soothing it and tasting the sweat that is there. He then shimmies forward, bringing his chest flush against the man's back. He starts to suck on Castiel's earlobe as he pushes the head of his penis into Castiel's butt.

Castiel gasps and tries to turn around to face the man penetrating him but Dean holds him there, not allowing him to turn. "Dean?"

Dean can hear the fear in the gravelly voice. "Shh, it's okay Cas." He pushes in a little more, making sure to go slow though all he wants to do is bottom out. Castiel whimpers and Dean kisses the shell of his ear. "It's okay Cas, it'll only hurt for a little while. It'll be okay."

"Dean." His voice sounds broken and it crushes Dean.

Dean starts to rub up and down Castiel's arms, trying to comfort him. "Shh, it's okay." A little further in. "Shh." The guy is trembling uncontrollably in Dean's arms and he feels guilty though it's something they have to get pass. It's not the first time he has taken someone's virginity but the former angel is just so innocent and naïve that Dean doesn't want to hurt him.

"Dean it hurts." Castiel whines and he can see slight tears in those blue eyes.

"Want me to stop?" He asks regrettably and Castiel nods, panting and shaking violently. Dean stops his movement and closes his eyes, resting his forehead on the sweaty shoulder. He continues to rub Castiel's arms in comfort. "Shh."

They stay like that for minutes, none of them moving. Dean doesn't pull out hoping that Castiel will want to continue. After awhile his waiting seems to pay off because Castiel rocks his hips slightly, giving a throaty moan. "You can move now."

Feeling relief Dean continues, going slower than he was before if that's even possible. Castiel has his eyelids squeezed shut and soon Dean is fully in, breathing a groan of satisfaction. "You feel so good Cas." Dean says, deciding to give the fallen angel encouragement. He starts to pull out and push back in slowly, continuing to take his time as the vessels face is still contorted in pain and his erection has gone completely placid.

He takes a hold of the limp member and starts to stroke, speeding up his doings in the back. Castiel's face soon softens and his member begins to become rigid in Dean's hand. Castiel then gasps and his eyes shoot open once again, his penis standing to attention. "Dean, there's that feeling again." Dean feels the sweat on his own back drip down to his naked bottom. "It feels so… ah… so good."

"You like that?" Dean asks, speeding up slightly and making sure to hit that spot with every motion. Dean moves his free hand up Castiel's chest, pinching a nipple and causing the man to gasp his name. He then continues to move his hand up to Castiel's neck. He wraps his hands around the muscle lightly and pulls back so Castiel leans farther back into his chest, getting Dean a better angle at his prostate.

They both are panting wildly and Dean can no longer hold in his own moans while hearing the former angel doing the same thing. He's close so he speeds his pumping on Castiel's penis, wanting him to come first.

"Dean." He's shaking again except this time Dean knows it's because of a good thing. "Dean, something is happening. I feel…" He gasps.

"Just let go Cas." Dean whispers in his ear, voice an octave lower. "Come for me, it's okay." The next thing Dean knows is there's this white, hot, sticky liquid covering his hand, Castiel shuddering in his arms. The tightness around Dean's member doubles and it's too much. Dean's orgasm hits him like a train, spilling inside Castiel as the man slowly comes down from his own high.

Once Dean is down from the clouds, he pulls out gently, knowing Castiel is probably sore. Castiel then proceeds to collapse onto the bed, lying on his stomach and in his own semen. Dean looks at him, the sweat on his body starting to cool.

He gets off the bed, feeling guilty and regret, and starts to dress. "I'm going to take a shower." He finishes getting dressed and turns to Castiel to see him looking at him, still shaking except this time there's something different about those small shudders. "You okay?"

"I'm cold." He's still on his stomach but his head is turned in a way that makes it so he can stare at Dean.

Dean sighs and walks over to the bed again. He grabs the covers and pulls them over the other man. "When you're human, you get warm by covering up."

Castiel's eyebrows scrunch up. "Thank you Dean." A small smile plays at the fallen angel's lips and Dean just turns away, walking to the shower.

After his shower he goes back to the spare bedroom, feeling bad that he and Castiel just made a mess of Bobby's sheets. When he walks in he stops in his tracks. Castiel is sleeping on the bed, still on his stomach, but covered in the blanket. His mouth is slightly open and the sun is hitting him in a way that makes him look very peaceful.

Dean shakes his head to clear it. "Hey." He says loudly so the man will wake. "Time to get up." Castiel groans and slowly sits up. Dean throws him a towel which promptly lands on his head. "You need to clean up, go take a shower." Castiel slowly gets up off the bed, obviously trying to show little signs of pain. "Use warm water." Castiel looks at him, in the middle of pulling his pants back on. "It'll help with the pain." The man nods and exits the room, carrying his shirt, trench coat, loafers, and towel in his arms.

Once he's gone Dean gets up and starts to strip the bed, the whole room smelling like sex. "Hey, what are you doing?"

Dean turns to look at Sam. "Cleaning the bed. I accidently spilt some beer on it." Sam looks to the beer bottle that is on the nightstand and nods.

"I'll go get you some clean sheets." He walks away and Dean is thankful that he didn't seem suspicious.

Soon Castiel walks back into the room, hair dripping wet and Dean has to look away before he's willing to go for round two. "What are you doing?"

Dean was just about to tell him the truth when Sam walks into the room with the clean sheets. "I spilt some beer on the bed. Just changing the sheets to clean it up."

Castiel looks confused and looks from Dean to Sam and back. Dean prays that he won't say anything because really, he can't be that socially awkward to not know what Dean is actually cleaning up. "Oh."

That's all he says before turning away and walking out of sight. Dean stares after him, definitely detecting a hint of hurt in the gravelly voice. "Did he take a shower?"

"Hmm?" Dean looks to his brother.

"Cas, did he take a shower?" Sam repeats himself.

Dean shrugs. "Looked it. Maybe he was wondering what it would feel like."

Sam shrugs next. "Yeah maybe." They both put the clean sheets on the bed and then, Dean grabbing his beer and practically chugging it, walk down to Bobby's study to prepare for their demon expedition where they have to cut and bleed a few demons so Sam can drink their blood.

**A/N: Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it and please review if you can. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

**A/N: Sometimes it's hard to quote the show when you have no idea what the references mean, so with that I'm sorry if I get some of them wrong…**

**Thank you ****Casismyfavorite for the review. You are always so nice. :)**

**Warning: Major SPOILERS for Season 5's Swan Song!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or the characters. All belong to their rightful owner. **

**Please enjoy. :)**

"Still can't get used to you on eye level." Dean says as he walks up to Bobby who is currently folding up a newspaper.

Bobby throws him a sarcastic smirk and then turns serious. "So, was I right?"

Dean doesn't even hesitate with answering, feeling like crap and wanting this whole thing to just be over with. He wants to be somewhere safe with his brother, drinking booze and eating pie. "Yeah as always, Yoda and two stunt demons inside, just like you said."

"Did you get it?" Bobby goes straight to the point and it makes Dean nervous.

He looks over to Sam, packing the Impala up with demon Cool Aid. "Yeah, all the go juice Sammy can drink."

Bobby glances over at Sam and then looks back to Dean. "You okay?" He asks, as if he can read Dean's mind like Castiel could before he became human.

"Not really, what you got?" Dean turns to the newspaper not wanting to spill his guts right there and then, the time isn't appropriate and besides, he doesn't want to tell Bobby all his crap that he is holding inside.

"Not much." Bobby picks up the newspaper he was holding a few minutes earlier, getting the hint. "These look like omens to you?" Dean grabs the paper, giving it a little flick to harden it, keep it from flopping over in his hands. "Cyclone in Florida, temperature drop in Detroit, wild fires in LA…"

Dean cuts him off, hearing an all too familiar word. "Wait what about Detroit?"

"Temps dropped about twenty degrees but only in a five block radius of downtown Motown." Bobby explains.

It hits him like a bus running into his gut. "That's the one." Dean throws the paper back into the van, feeling his stomach twist and turn with unease and disappointment. "Devil's in Detroit."

"Really?" The tone of Bobby's voice is obvious. It's laced with shock and wonder at how Dean knows. "As far as foreboding goes, it's a little light in the loafers. You sure?"

Dean looks to his little brother again, the same brother that he _needs_ to protect with his life. The same brother he told was grown up a few hours ago. "Yeah, I'm sure." He doesn't even try to hide the pain in his voice. Sam looks over to them and Dean looks away while Bobby keeps looking at the younger Winchester.

Dean doesn't want to look at him, doesn't want Sam, his Sammy, to see how much pain he is in, how much pain he is feeling. Instead he focuses on helping Bobby finish packing and then they're on the road again, making their way to Detroit where Dean knows the devil is waiting.

There's no talking for hours and the air in the vehicle feels slightly awkward, like there's a tension that won't go away until someone brings up that dreaded elephant in the room.

It's already night and they're almost there when Dean hears a deep intake of breath from the back of the car. He glances behind him, knowing Castiel is there, and would have been shocked by the image his eyes were met with if he hadn't seen the man sleeping earlier that day. "Awe, ain't he a little angel?"

Sam looks at his brother, trying to figure out what he is talking about until he turns the whole top half of his body around to peer at the former angel. He looks to his brother again, look of knowledge and mournfulness in his eyes. "Angels don't sleep." He deadpans and Dean looks to Sam and back at Castiel again.

Dean looks forward, realization hitting him hard in the gut that, yes, Castiel, angel of the lord, the one who pulled him out of Hell and left an irreversible mark on his shoulder, is in fact, human. The weight on Dean's shoulders increases and it's almost too much to bear. He decides in that moment, after giving a small shake of his head, to change the subject. "Sam I've got a bad feeling about this."

A small smirk forms on his gigantic brother and he nods his head. "Well, you'd be nuts to have a good feeling about it."

"You know what I mean." Dean says quickly, trying to get his brother to understand, subtly, how much this is killing him. "Detroit." He makes sure to say it with as much disgust he can manage at the time. "He always said he'd jump your bones in Detroit… here we are."

"Here we are." Sam repeats but Dean doesn't let him say anything else.

"Maybe this is him rolling out the red carpet, you know, maybe he knows something we don't." He takes his eyes off the road for a second to look at Sam, trying to get his point across.

Sam snorts and begins to speak. "Dean I'm sure he knows a butt load we don't." Sam looks at him. "We've just got to hope he doesn't know about the rings." Silence fills the car except for the constant hum of the Impala speeding down the road and Castiel's slight snores. Sam then sighs and takes a breath, turning his head to look at his older brother, his role model. "Hey, um…" He looks to his lap and then back to Dean. The sound of his voice is raising Dean's alert meter. "On the subject there's something I need to talk to you about."

Dean doesn't like the sound of this, his heart beat starting to quicken, and he says a harsh, "What?"

Sam doesn't hesitate. "This thing goes our way, and I triple lindy in that box…" There's a pause and Dean eyes his brother who is looking right at him. "You know I'm not coming back?"

Dean really wishes he didn't say it. He wishes Sam would just say forget about it, forget I said anything, doesn't matter, but he doesn't and Dean is left there staring at him until he can't take it. He looks to the road once more. "Yeah I'm aware."

"So you got to promise me something." Dean looks to Sam again, confusion entering his thought process because what in the name of an absent God could he need promising.

He hesitates. "Yeah, okay, anything."

Sam doesn't speak at first, so Dean goes back to the road, trying to calm the emotions that are boiling at the surface ready to explode with one word. "You got to promise not to try to bring me back."

Shock, it's all Dean feels in that instant because like hell he won't! He'll do anything to try to bring his brother back. What the hell is Sam saying? "What?" He hears his anger wrapped in the word. "No, I didn't sign up for that."

"Dean." Sam tries but Dean has none of it.

"Your Hell is going to make my tour look like grace land. You want me to just sit by and do nothing?" He says, pure anger letting loose.

He sees the agitation and annoyance in Sam's features. "Once the cage is shut, you can't go poking at it, Dean, it's too risky."

Dean wants to stop listening, he really does, but this is his brother. "No, no, no, as if I'm going to let you rot in there."

Sam won't drop it. "Yeah you are. You don't have a choice."

Dean tries not to yell, subconsciously knowing Castiel is in the back seat sleeping, but he can't help it and his voice rises. "You can't ask me to do this."

"I'm sorry Dean, you have too." Dean doesn't understand. Sam did everything to try to get him out of Hell and now Sam is asking Dean to do the exact opposite? How can he do that, how can he let his younger brother, the one where his only job is to protect him, just stay there in Hell?

He wants to cry but he won't. "So then what am I supposed to do?" He asks after another pause.

"You go find Lisa," Dean huffs in disbelief, unable to comprehend if this is real or some nightmare. "You pray to God she is dumb enough to take you in," Dean wonders which god he's talking about because there is no way in hell he is praying to the one that abandoned all of them, abandoned Castiel. Castiel, the fallen angel who is still sleeping in the back despite their arguing, the one he had sex with earlier in the day, and here is Sam, telling him to go to Lisa. "You have barbeques and go to football games. You go live some normal apple pie life, Dean." Dean just stares ahead, knowing full well his brother wants him to say something. "Promise me."

Dean looks to Sam, feeling the tears start to accumulate in his eyes but still he refuses to let them fall. Satin isn't even riding Sam yet and he already feels like he's dying, like his whole world is coming down on him. "Fine… I promise Sam."

Sam turns back to the front, seeming satisfied with Dean's answer. That's when Dean deems it safe to let the tears fall, though he tries so hard not to let them, he just can't keep them in. For the rest of the drive it's silent until they reach their destination, Dean wanting nothing but to cancel the whole thing, turn around and drive off, find some other way.

"Demons, at least two dozen of them." Bobby says as he walks back up to them from scoping out the building that, supposedly, the devil himself is in. "You were right, something's up."

"More than something." Dean claims. "He's here, I know it." He turns away and walks to the back of the Impala, digging out his keys and unlocking the trunk. He doesn't want to hear what Sam is saying to Bobby or even Castiel, but he listens anyways, not knowing if it'll be the last time he hears that voice as Sam.

"See you around kid." He hears Bobby say but Dean doesn't see it, his view blocked by the trunk hood.

Dean looks over the hood and at the back of his brother's head. "See you around." Hearing those words causes a whole new pain in Dean's chest and he looks down, not wanting to cry for a second time. He knows Sam and Bobby are hugging but he doesn't look, doesn't want to.

"It gets in… you fight him tooth and nail, you understand?" Bobby preaches. "Keep swinging, don't give an inch."

"Yes sir." Sam responds and Dean can feel his bottom lip quivering. He looks back up, being able to hold the treacherous tears back and watches as Sam walks up to Castiel, hand out for a shake. "Take care of these guys okay?"

Castiel gets this look on his face that would scream, I'm so sorry. "That's not possible."

Sam sighs in annoyance and smiles a fake smile. "Then humor me."

Understanding forms on the ex-angel's expression and he smiles to horribly lie. "I'm supposed to lie? Uh… sure we'll be fine."

"Just…" Sam stops him. "Just stop talking." Castiel shoots Dean an awkward glance, as if asking him for help, but Dean doesn't offer it. He then awkwardly walks away, allowing Sam to approach Dean. He was expecting some heartfelt words from his brother but all he gets is Sam glaring at the demon blood and a sad, "You mind not watching this?" Dean would be lying if he said he didn't feel a little disappointed in that. That his baby brother didn't say anything like he did the others. Dean waits by the side of the Impala, hood to the trunk blocking his view from Sam, but he can hear it. He can hear his brother gulping down the thick, rich blood, and it turns Dean's stomach every time he hears him swallow. Dean knows he's done when the hood gets slammed down and he watches his brother walking briskly in the direction of the building they're suppose to enter, "Let's go." escaping his lips as he passes Dean.

It doesn't take them long to reach the front of the apartment complex. The closer they get the more Dean's heart rate speeds up, wondering if this really is going to be the last time he sees his brother as himself, or alive all together. He doesn't want to think about it as they approach, Sam splaying his arms out in a surrender yet threatening tone. "Alright, we're here you sons-a-bitches, come and get it."

At that two demons show up, opening the door to the entrance and stepping up to them. "Hey guys." Dean greets. "Is your father home?" It works because the next thing Dean knows is he's being dragged by a demon up a flight of stairs and into a room that seems to have dropped into the teens for temperature.

Lucifer stands by the window, looking out it dreamily. "Hey guys, it's so nice for you to drop in." His voice sounds calm, warm, and even welcoming, but Dean isn't fooled. Lucifer breathes onto the window and to Dean's amazement, it ices over. "Sorry if it's a bit chilly, most people think I burn hot, it's actually quite the opposite." Lucifer continues while he draws a trident on the window.

Dean decides to go with snarky. "Well, I'll alert the media." He has a smirk on his face but as soon as Satin turns around and looks at Dean in the eyes, it disappears, fear suddenly bombarding Dean.

Lucifer turns all the way around and walks towards them, clapping his hands together. "Help me understand something guys. I mean stomping through my front door is… tad suicidal, don't you think?"

Sam then goes up to the plate, the inevitable invitation. "Where not here to fight you."

Lucifer looks at Sam, surprise shinning through his wall. "No? Then why are you?"

There's no pause, just right to the point. "I want to say yes."

The devil doesn't even flinch, as if it's such a shock that he can't conceive what exactly is going on. "Excuse me?" Dean takes a deep, silent breath, glancing to the floor, then back to Lucifer. He looks to his brother when he starts to kill the demons in the room, not even having to do that weird hand thing anymore, then back to Satin. "Chock full of Ovaltine, are we?"

"You heard me." Sam doesn't allow Lucifer to get one up on him. "Yes." He says it with determination but there's a hint of disgust that only Dean can detect. The longer they're in that room, the more Dean's heart breaks.

Lucifer looks at him quizzically. "You're serious." It's not a question, more like a shocked statement.

Sam shares a glance with Dean before squaring his shoulders and speaking again. "Look, judgment day is a runaway train, we get it now. Now we just want off." Yes, Dean and Sam, Bobby and Castiel, want off but not this way, this way that is tearing Dean apart more than he ever was in Hell.

"Meaning?" The devil doesn't seem to believe them. You can tell he's skeptical of this whole fiasco.

"Deal of the century." Sam continues. "I give you a free ride but when it's all over, I live, he lives, you bring our parents back…"

The devil interrupts Sam, rubbing his peeling chin with one finger. "Okay can we please drop the telenovela. I know you have the rings Sam."

Dean tries not to flinch at that claim but he can't help it. He looks to his brother that he can see is also trying desperately not to show a reaction. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Dean looks back to Lucifer who hesitates before explaining. "The horsemen's rings… the magic keys to my cage… ring a bell?" He walks in between Sam and Dean. "Come on Sam, I've never lied to you." He sounds annoyed. "You can at least pay me the same respect." They both turn to face the devil again. "It's okay, I'm not mad." He says with a smirk. "A wrestling match inside your noggin… I like the idea. Just you and me, one round, no tricks, you win… you jump in the hole, I win… well then I win. What do you say Sam, a fiddle of gold against your soul says I'm better than you?" He sing-songs the last words and Dean wants run.

He looks to his taller brother, hoping he'll change his mind about this whole deal. "So he knows, doesn't change anything."

Dean looks at Sam in disbelief and utter horror. "Sam."

"We don't have any other choice." Sam says.

"No." He knows it sounds desperate and broken but he doesn't care. He just doesn't want to do this, he doesn't want to do this damn it!

Sam squares his body once more and Dean looks to the devil that is waiting there, encouraging Sam to say yes. "Yes." The big yes and there's a glow that erupts from Lucifer's melting vessel that Dean needs to shield his eyes from. There's also that high pitched squeal that Dean remembers Castiel saying that's angel's true voices. For a split second he wonders what Lucifer could be saying.

But soon the noise and light is gone and his brother is on the floor, unconscious. He fights his every fiber telling him to kneel beside him, see if he's okay, and instead takes the conjoined four horsemen rings and throws it to the wall. It sticks there and Dean, keeping his hand out stretched, says the incantation with forced memory.

The wall begins to crumble before him and a strong wind pulls into the pitch black abyss in the wall. He turns around to see Sam, acting like his brother, waking up and pushing himself off the floor. He quickly goes to his brother's side. "Sammy?"

"Dean." Sam calls and Dean grabs a hold of his out stretched arm.

"Sammy." He says again, trying to pull him up, help him up.

Sam groans in pain, face twisted in discomfort. "I can feel him… Oh God."

He continues to help when he bends his head to the floor in pain. "You got to go now." This next time he pulls and Sam's body is lifted and pushed off the floor. "Come on." When Sam is all the way up, he holds onto him, not wanting to let go, not wanting to see him go into that darkness to never see him again. "Go now Sammy." He forces himself to say. He doesn't and Dean forces another word that he can barely get out without choking on his own emotions. "Now!"

He stands back and watches as Sam walks up to the hole but then stops, taking deep breaths that slow to normal breathing. Sam turns around and Dean doesn't need to be told to know that that is no longer his brother, he can feel it.

"I was just messing with you." Sam, now Lucifer, says. "Sammy's long gone." Dean didn't think his heart could break any further but he's wrong. He feels it being ripped out of his chest and stomped on for good graces. He watches as Lucifer in his younger brother's body says some sort of spell and the wall closes, the rings reappearing. Lucifer grabs the rings that are stuck on the wall and turns back to Dean. He studies the rings, walking a few paces towards Dean, and then stopping to look up at the oldest Winchester. "I told you… this would always happen in Detroit." With that Lucifer, along with Sam's body, disappears.

Dean looks around the room, grabbing his head and hair in both hands, and he feels the tears starting to pool in his eyes. His heart is completely broken and he doesn't know what to do. He's hurting so much that even though he told himself that he wouldn't cry, not for a second time in the same day, he does.

**A/N: I was going to have this be the whole episode but then it started getting really long. I hope I showed Dean's emotions enough not to have it be a bore because it's following along with the episode.**

**I promise by the end of the next chapter, it won't be the exact same as the episode.**

**Thank you for reading and please review if you can. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:**

**A/N: After this chapter the rest will be all pre-season six with my own twist to it. :)**

**Warning: Major SPOILERS for Season 5's Swan Song. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters. All belong to their rightful owner.**

**Thank you** **Truskawkowy Elf z Mongolii and Otex for the reviews. Like I said above, the end of this chapter will start on the actual plot of the whole story.**

**As always, please enjoy. :)**

The look on Bobby's and Castiel's faces when Dean tells them what happened is enough to tear his heart all over again. The look of disappointment and hopelessness, kills Dean and he wants to say that it'll be okay but he's not so sure.

They stop in front of a store, one where there's a bunch of TV's in the window and you can actually hear what they are spewing out. Castiel walks pass Bobby and Dean, looking Dean in the eyes. "It's starting."

Dean looks at him, glancing at the TV one last time, before turning towards the human. "Yeah you think genius?"

"You don't have to be mean." Castiel says for the second time today and Dean remembers taking Castiel's virginity for this exact reason, though part of it was to distract Dean.

Castiel isn't facing Dean and he wonders what is going on in his head, if he's thinking about that time in bed as well. "So what do we do now?"

The ex-angel shakes his head, looking lost and mournful. "I suggest we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol… just wait for the inevitable blast wave."

Dean gives a curt nod, feeling annoyance add on to the other emotions he's trying to deal with. "Okay swell, thank you Bukowski. I mean how do we stop it?"

Castiel turns around and looks at him as if that answer is the most obvious thing in the world. "We don't." Dean looks at him, his hope slowly dwindling. "Lucifer will meet Michael on the chosen field and the battle of Armageddon begins."

"Okay, well, where's this chosen field?" He asks, refusing to give up just yet because hope is all he's hanging onto at the moment.

Castiel looks at him in a pained way and turns away from him. "I don't know."

Dean is starting to get desperate, his hope in anything starting to diminish. "Well there's got to be something we can do?"

Castiel looks up at the sky, sirens blaring in the background. When the former angel turns to him, Dean swears he sees tears in those blue eyes. "I'm sorry Dean, this is over."

Dean is now getting extremely agitated at the fallen angel. Isn't he supposed to be hopeful, giving encouragement? They had sex together and for what? For him to just give up? "You listen to me you junkless sissy… we are not giving up." Castiel looks away from him, as if he's tired of trying to get through to him. He turns around to look at Bobby who is standing behind him. "Booby?" Bobby isn't looking at any of them, just at the ground as if there's no hope at all. "Bobby?"

He looks up then, definite tears in his eyes but Dean knows he'll never admit it. "There was never much hope to begin with." He shakes his head. "I don't know what else to do." Hearing that from Bobby is the last straw. He's officially dangling off the edge, holding on by some thin thread that is ready to break. He looks back to Castiel but the fallen angel isn't looking at him, instead he's looking at the ground. As if sensing Dean looking at him, however, he looks up, looking at him like he's just waiting for him to say something.

"So we're just going to sit on our asses?" He looks between the two people. "Oh yeah that's great. Let what we tried so hard to stop… happen." He begins to walk away.

"Dean." He hears Castiel call after him but he doesn't stop, doesn't want to. He gets into the Impala and takes out his cell. There's no way he's going to just let this happen, he still has time, he can still get through to Sam.

He hears the other line pick up and then the voice of Chuck. "Mistress Magda."

Dean rolls his eyes. Leave it to Chuck to indulge in hired pleasures when it's the end of the world. "Um… no, Chuck."

He hears the hesitation before Chuck gets his bearings straight. "Oh, uh… Dean, uh… wow I didn't know you'd call."

Dean, to lighten the mood for himself, decides to mess with the prophet. "Who's Mistress Magda?"

"Nothing, she's a uh… just a uh… a close friend." He's just as bad as lying as Castiel and Dean can hardly hold back a chuckle.

"Yeah I'll bet, real close. Whatever happened to Becky?" He asks the question more out of curiosity and delaying the inevitable more than anything else.

The way Chuck answers is enough to make someone have a glimmer of happiness even on the worst day. "Uh, it didn't work out… I had too much respect for her." He clears his throat.

Dean can't help but mess with him one last time. "Wow, you really have this virgin, hooker thing going on, don't you?"

"Kay, this can't be why you called." Chuck's voice is high pitched with embarrassment and it makes Dean smile for a second before reality sinks in again like a hammer.

He gets to the point. "Sam said yes."

"I know." He says it matter-of-fact but his words are laced in pain as well. "I saw it. I'm just working on the pages."

"Did you see where the title fight goes down?" Dean is hoping so hard that he thinks his heart will burst out of his chest if he hopes anymore.

Chuck sighs and Dean gets a sinking feeling in his gut. "The angels are keeping it top secret, very hush-hush."

That's enough to plummet Dean back into the hopeless hole he climbed out of just a few minutes earlier. "Oh, crap."

"But I saw it anyways." Chuck says, sounding enthusiastic. "Perks of being a prophet." He can hear the smug, proud look on his face. "It's uh, tomorrow, high noon, place called Stull Cemetery."

"Stull Cemetery." He whispers to himself, the name sounding very familiar. Then he remembers where that is and it makes him wonder why there. "Wait I know that. It's an old bone yard outside of Lawrence. Why Lawrence?"

"I don't know." He hears Chuck say. "It all has to end where it started, I guess."

"Alright Chuck, you know any way to short circuit this thing?" Dean asks, wondering how long his luck will last.

Apparently it doesn't last long, however, because Chuck crushes him all over again. "Besides the rings, no… I'm sorry."

It's definitely not what Dean wanted to hear but he's not going to give up, not yet, not on Sam. "Well you have any idea what's going to happen next?"

He knows it's a useless question, that Chuck more than likely can't answer it. "I wish that I did, but I-I just honestly don't know yet."

It's not what he wants to hear and he feels his heart sinking and sinking even further into hopelessness and determination to just give up. "Alright, thanks Chuck." He hangs up then, knowing it's now or never. He knows where Sam will be and he'll do anything, whatever it takes, to get through to him, even if it kills him.

He gets out of the Impala and starts to get his things ready, going to the back and into the trunk. He hears two sets of feet walking up behind him, knows it's Bobby and Castiel. Dean wonders what is going through the ex-angel's mind. Just before he gets into the driver's side of his baby, Bobby calls out to him. "Going someplace?" He doesn't want to do this, hell he doesn't even want them coming with him and risking them getting killed. "You're going to do something stupid, you've got that look."

He decides to tell them the truth, what does he have to lose? He's already lost his brother. "I'm going to go talk to Sam." He faces Bobby and hopes he doesn't sound as heartbroken and beaten as he thinks he does.

Bobby shakes his head. "You just don't give up."

"It's Sam!" He yells it, not caring if others hear, not caring what Bobby and Castiel think, hell, not even caring what he thinks. All he wants is to go and save his brother like he's supposed to, like his job tells him to do.

Castiel speaks up then. "You couldn't reach him here, you're certainly not going to be able to on the battle field."

"Well if we've already loss, then I've got nothing to lose, right?" Castiel straightens and takes a deep intake of breath as if hurt, as if pointing out that not too long ago he told Dean that he still has Bobby and him, that they are the ones he has to lose.

Castiel doesn't say that though, instead he takes a different tactic. "I just want you to understand… the only thing you're going to see out there is Michael killing your brother."

Dean nods the slightest bit in understanding. He knows that, he really does, but he still can't bear the thought. "Well then I ain't going to let him die alone." He looks Castiel in the eyes and all he sees in those blue orbs is hurt and betrayal. He knows what the betrayal is for and what the hurt is for. He knows the betrayal is for pushing him aside after doing something that he probably thinks is sacred, and then hurt because it's the end of the world and he knows if this fight goes down, he won't be getting a slice of paradise. He knows he'll probably end up in Hell for his treacherous doings, rebelling against the apocalypse.

Dean waits there, wondering if they have anymore to say but neither of the two say anything else so he opens the door to his car and gets in, turning the key in the ignition, and driving away to meet Lucifer and Michael, both who are going around in his brothers.

It's a long drive and Dean knows he won't get there until morning no matter how fast he drives, but he goes twenty over the speed limit anyway. He doesn't know what he'll say or what he'll do. All he knows is that that is his brother out there, no matter who is in him, and he needs to get through to him, he _needs_ to. He's family after all.

A few hours later he pulls into Stull Cemetery, and he stops a little ways away from both his brothers, watching as they talk. He grabs the box of cosset tapes and sifts through them until he finds the song he wants. He picks out Def Leppard and presses the play button, Rock of Ages immediately blaring through the turned up speakers.

He sees both Michael and Lucifer turn to face him, the look of agitation and annoyance written on their faces. Overall they look pissed that Dean is there, as if he's intruding on something divine.

When he stops in front of them he cuts the engine, music stopping suddenly, and steps out of the car. He leans on the door of the Impala and looks from brother to brother, angel to fallen angel. "Howdy boys." He goes with sarcastic, feeling his nerves start in. "Sorry, am I interrupting something?" He shuts the door and begins to walk to the front of his baby, looking at Sam. "Hey… we need to talk."

Both Michael and Lucifer look at each other, as if telepathically talking to one another. Lucifer then looks back at Dean and Dean feels a sharp pain in his chest at seeing Sam like this. "Dean… even for you, this is a whole new mountain of stupid."

Dean then tries to get through to Sam, his brother, _younger_ brother that he knows is somewhere in there. "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to Sam."

"You're no longer the vessel, Dean. You got no right to be here." Dean looks to Adam's body, his younger half brother that he never got to get to know. It's funny how the devil's voice sounds calmer and more inviting than the first archangel. Dean wonders why.

"Adam if you're in there somewhere, I am so sorry." Dean says and he means it. If he knew that he had another younger brother, whether they are only half or not, he would have tried to protect him more.

Michael gives a snarky comment back. "Adam isn't home right now."

"Well then your next on my list buttercup, but right now I need five minutes with him." He says and he can feel the tension rising.

"You little maggot." Michael says angrily, detestably. "You are no longer a part of this story!"

He's walking towards Dean but then stops when each and every one of them hears that familiar deep, gravelly voice. Dean's heart skips a beat. "Hey," They all face Castiel who is holding a bottle of flaming holy oil. "Assbutt!" He throws it and it hits Michael with a smash, Adam going up in flames like a bonfire. He screams and the flesh is burning away, that high pitched squeal coming from the angel. The smell is immense. It reminds Dean of the smell the night his mother died.

He looks to Castiel, saying the only thing that comes to mind. "Assbutt?"

The former, now human, angel shrugs. "He'll be back and upset, but you've got your five minutes." The sheer joy that Dean feels at Castiel, risking his life to give him five damn minutes with Sam, fills him to the brink. At that moment his heart is soaring with the birds and he's more proud of Castiel in that moment than he ever was.

Of course it doesn't last. "Castiel." Lucifer sounds outraged. "Did you just molotov my brother… with holy fire?" His tone makes Dean uneasy again.

Castiel backs up, looking scared. "Uh… no."

"No one dicks with Michael… but me." Lucifer raises his right hand and snaps his fingers and Dean watches as Castiel, the freaking former angel, explodes and Dean's million of pieces his heart was already in breaks into a million more. He's shocked and he can feel the numbness starting to form in him. He can't lose everyone, he just _can't_.

He looks back to Sam's gigantic body. "Sammy, can you hear me?"

Lucifer turns to him. "You know…" He doesn't sound warm and welcoming anymore, now he sounds menacing. "I tried to be nice, for Sammy's sake… but you… are such a pain…" He grabs the lapels of Dean's leather jacket, the one he got from his father. "in my ass."

He pushes Dean and he lands on the hood of the Impala, hitting his head on the glass and cracking it. Dean then hears gun shots and looks over to see Bobby, gun in hand and raised, shooting at the devil. He watches as the bullets do nothing to Satin and then to Bobby who shrugs. Lucifer then lifts his right hand again and twists it, snapping Bobby's neck. "No!" He screams, his heart bleeding and it won't stop, it just won't _stop_.

Lucifer grabs his ankle, pulling him down off the hood. "Yes." He punches Dean and he feels a sharp pain in his jaw, knowing that the devil probably broke it.

He catches the blood dripping from his mouth in his left hand and then turns around to see his brother with Lucifer in him. "Sammy?" His voice is shaky, pain radiating from his broken jaw. "Are you in there?"

The devil looks angry, murderous. "Oh he's in here alright." He punches him again and Dean can feel more and more of his bones breaking. "And he's going to feel the snap of your bones." He punches him again and Dean falls to the ground. "Every single one." Lucifer pulls him up and holds him there, punching him in the face. Dean knows he's not using his full strength, if he was, he'd be dead by now. "We're going to take our time."

Punch after punch, whipping Dean's head from side to side, making his face swell with the pain. It feels like he was hit with a truck, maybe even a train. He uses the last strength he has and grabs a hold of Sam's jacket. "Sammy." It's a struggle to talk but he manages, hehas to, _needs_ to. "It's okay, it's okay, I'm here, I'm here, I'm not going to leave you." Another punch but by now Dean's face is numb so he hardly feels it. "I'm not going to leave you."

He sees Sam's hand rise to serve another whack in the face but there's a pause and something changes in the way Sam looks. His arm falls and Sam backs away, groaning in pain. Dean falls to the ground and with all his might, looks at Sam through swollen eyelids. Sam is taking deep, gasping breaths for air and he looks disoriented. "It's okay Dean." He hears his heart breaking. "It's going to be okay… I've got him." Dean shakes his head, not wanting to see this, but watches anyway.

He watches as Sam throws the rings on the ground and says the incantation. He watches as the ground crumbles into a black hole. He watches as Sam looks back at him, nods his encouragement, but then Michael reappears and fear flashes in Dean. "Sam." Sam faces Michael. "It's not going to end this way. Step back."

"You're going to have to make me." Sam tells him, challenges him.

"I have to fight my brother Sam, here and now. It's my destiny." Michael announces and stands there, waiting for Sam to do something. That's when Sam looks back to Dean, who is broken and dying inside. He nods again and Dean wants to get up, stop him, stop him, _stop him_. Sam closes his eyes, outstretches his arms like they are wings and falls backwards. "No!" Michael yells and charges. He grabs a hold of Sam's jacket, trying to pull him back but Sam grabs Adam's arm.

Dean watches as both of them fall into the pit, his mouth hung open to say something, yell something, to _stop _them. He watches and shields his eyes when a bright light explodes and the hole closes. He watches when everything around him is calm, as if the end wasn't about to happen, and he doesn't say anything.

He wants to cry and he can feel the tears pooling in his swollen eyes. Dean crawls to the rings, picks them up and stares at them, silently crying but his eyelids are so swollen that no tears will escape. He's lost everyone. He's lost Bobby, Castiel, Sam… oh Sam, Sam, _Sammy_…

He feels the pain in his face all of a sudden ease and two presences behind him. He looks around and to his amazement Castiel and Bobby are there, standing and alive. "Cas… Bobby… you're alive?"

"It would seem so." Castiel bluntly says.

Dean stands, looking over the both of them. "How?"

Castiel answers this question, slight hope back in those blue eyes. "I believe God brought us back, healed your face."

"Does that mean…" He doesn't really know how to ask, his heart is crying with both joy and sadness and it's making him not think clearly. "Does that mean you're an angel again?"

Castiel looks to the ground, a weight seeming to land on his shoulders. "It would seem that I am still human."

"Now what?" He knows his voice is cracking again but he doesn't care. All he wants to do is die.

"We'll figure that out once we get back to my place." Bobby turns to walk back to where he parked his car.

Dean does the same, going to the driver's side. "Dean?" He stops and looks at Castiel. "Can I ride with you?" He nods and gets into the car and soon Castiel is sitting in the passenger seat.

It's night before any one of them decide to talk. "What are you going to do now?"

Castiel hesitates. "I'm… not sure."

"Well wherever you go Cas," Dean begins harshly. "If you ever see God, tell him I'm coming for him next."

"Why?" Castiel looks at him, confused.

Dean shakes his head. "God brings you back to life, it's not perfect, but hey, you get a second chance… oh sorry third chance… and what do I get? My brother in a hole. Where's my grand prize?"

"You got what you asked for Dean." His voice is calm but there's a hint of hurt in there. "No paradise, no Hell, just more of the same. I mean it Dean, what would you rather have… peace or freedom?"

He doesn't answer him; just leaves it at that and when they reach Bobby's they still don't say anything. They all sleep there for the night, Dean taking the couch and Castiel taking the floor. It's not until morning they discuss what they are going to do.

"I'm going to Lisa's." Dean announces and he pretends to not see Castiel flinch. "I promised Sam that I would."

"Why?" Castiel asks and Dean can no longer not look at him. There's hurt there, in his eyes, and Dean knows he's thinking about the other day when they had their little frolic in the bed.

"Because Cas, Sam knows… knew… that I like her." Castiel doesn't smile when Dean smiles at him. "He made me promise to go there."

"But…" The former angel stops himself and looks to the floor. Dean feels guilt fluttering around in his stomach.

"What are you going to do Cas?" Bobby changes the subject to Castiel, and Dean can't help but wonder if he saw hurt in those azure eyes.

Castiel looks up to Bobby, all hints of hurt gone. "I'm not sure yet."

"You got to think of something soon Cas." Dean points out and makes a note how the ex-angel doesn't look at him, instead he looks to the floor again.

"I… was thinking of something but it won't work out after all." There's disappointment in his voice.

Dean has a hunch at what that plan was but he asks anyway. "What was your plan?"

Castiel looks up at him. "It is… not of import." Eyes back to the floor in an instant.

"Bobby, what about you letting him stay here?" Dean suggests and Bobby gives him an are you kidding me look.

He then looks to Castiel who is looking at the older man in hope. "I'm sorry Cas but… I'm more of a living alone kind of guy." He shrugs and the hope extinguishes from Castiel's eyes. "Besides… you'll probably grow tired of me within the week."

Dean sighs. "Well I suppose you could always try to get by on your own."

Panic flashes across Castiel's face but he soon hides it and takes on that emotionless look again. "I… suppose that's an option."

"Then it's settled then." Dean nods in approval though he knows he's being an ass. "Bobby can help you get started and then there you go." The panic flashes in Castiel's eyes again. It reminds Dean of the look he had at the hooker joint. "Bobby you don't mind doing that do you? I would like to get to Lisa's as soon as possible."

"No, not a problem." Bobby agrees.

Dean nods again. "Good... I guess I'll get going then" He walks up to Bobby and embraces him in a hug. "See you around, Bobby."

Bobby smiles at him. "See you around kid, keep in touch you hear?"

"I will." Dean knows he's rushing things but the pain at losing Sam is boiling up again and he just wants to be alone in his car, on his way to the person he'll probably be spending the rest of his life with. He walks up to Castiel. "Good luck Cas." The panic has now been accompanied with sheer and utter sadness. The poor guy looks like he's going to cry. Dean nods at him and then turns on his heels and walks out of the door.

He's packing the Impala, barely keeping it together, when he hears someone come up to him. "Dean?" He doesn't want to look at him. He doesn't want to see those blue, sad eyes. "Dean?"

He turns. "Yeah?"

Castiel is close to him but Dean doesn't correct him. At the moment he doesn't care, he's too numb to care. "I… don't want to try to get by on my own. I'm not good with people Dean." Dean looks to the sky then back to the former angel. "I will try if that's what you really want me to do but…" He pauses and Dean wishes he could read his mind. He waits while Castiel, former angel of the lord, gets his thoughts together and his patience is starting to run thin.

"Spit it out Cas." He snaps and immediately regrets it when the man flinches.

He finally finds his voice. "I want to stay with you."

"No." Dean immediately says with a huff and an annoyed smile, turning back to the trunk and closing it.

"Why not?" Castiel steps in front of him to block his path to the driver's side.

"Because I promised Sam, Cas. I'm going to Lisa. She's barely going to want to take me in let alone me _and_ you." He yells.

"We don't have to go to her." There's desperation in his voice and it's killing Dean.

"I promised Sam." He tries again.

He doesn't want to see the tears that are forming in the ex-angel's eyes. "Can't you break it?"

"No." He says incredulously. "No Cas, I can't."

"But what about..." His voice cracks and that's when the tears start to stream down his whiskered cheeks. "What about…" He tries again but he can't get it out.

"Cas please don't cry." He says more calmly, his heart breaking all over again.

"I-I don't know how to stop." He mentions and Dean can't take it anymore.

He grabs a hold of the man and wraps him in his arms. "It's okay Cas, I'm sorry." He rubs his back and Castiel starts to hiccup. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking of how you would feel." He takes a deep breath, knowing what he has to do. "You can come with me okay, it's okay, I'm sorry."

Castiel pushes away from him. "No, you don't want me."

"No Cas." He says quickly, trying to fix this mess. "That's not what I meant. I just don't know if Lisa will be willing to take both of us in but it's okay, we can try and if she doesn't, then I'll break my promise okay?"

Castiel looks skeptical; his crying stopping now, but slowly nods. "Okay Dean, I trust you."

Dean slouches his shoulders. "Let's go tell Bobby." After telling the older man, who seemed happy to hear that, they get into the Impala and start to drive away. When they are half way there, Dean brings up the subject he really didn't want to. "Hey Cas," The man looks at him. "About us having sex… don't ever bring it back up." Castiel's eyebrows scrunch in confusion and his head tilts. "As far as I'm concerned… it never happened, understand? You forget about it, don't talk about it, don't even think about it, got it?"

The fallen angel looks shocked and confused all at the same time. "U-understood." He looks to his lap, the weight in the car increasing.

They get to Lisa's that night and Dean tells Castiel to wait in the car. He knocks on the door and manages a small smile when she opens it. "Hey Lisa." He internally kicks himself for letting his voice crack again but he can't help it. Being there, knocking on her door, makes it that much more real.

"Thank God." She answers, looking him over quickly. "Are you alright?"

He nods and tries his best to look sincere. "Yeah… uh, if it's not too late I think I'd like to take you up on that beer."

She smiles slightly. "It's never too late." She steps aside to let him in but instead Dean hugs her and once again he begins to cry. "Shh, shh, shh, it's okay, it's okay."

When they pull away he gestures to the Impala. "Um… I was wondering if um… a friend could join too?"

She looks over to the Impala that is parked on the side of the road and sees Castiel sitting there. "Yeah." She nods but looks confused and slightly disappointed. "Of course."

"Thanks." He waves to Castiel to get out of the car and he does so. When he gets up to them Dean introduces them. "Lisa this is Castiel, you can call him Cas if you want. Cas this is Lisa."

"It's nice to meet you." Castiel greets politely.

"Yeah you too." Lisa smiles warmly at the ex-angel. "Come on in you two, we're just about to have dinner."

"I'm not that hungry." Castiel says quickly.

"Cas you have to eat something." Castiel looks at Dean and that same hurt and sadness is still present there.

He shakes his head. "I'm really not hungry Dean, just tired."

"That's okay." Lisa says. "I'll show you to the guest bedroom." All three of them then walk in, Lisa allowing Dean to go sit at the dining room table and say high to Ben. When she comes back down and brings the food over, she looks at Dean. "You okay?"

He looks up at her. "Yeah I'm good." It's a lie and he is sure she knows it too, but she doesn't pressure him into saying anymore. They begin to eat but the whole time Dean feels like crap; not only from losing his brother, but also from the fact that he put that look of hurt in Castiel's eyes and that he's the reason why the ex-angel isn't eating now. He ignores the feeling though and once they are all done with supper; Dean goes to sleep in Lisa's bed, with her beside him.

**A/N: Sorry this is so long. There was a lot to add.**

**Anyways, I hope you liked it and please review if you can. Thank you. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:**

**A/N: Thank you ****Ennairam Atrum Austerus, darkangel1992, and Truskawkowy Elf z Mongolii for the reviews. It is most appreciated. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters. All belong to their rightful owner.**

It's six am in the morning and Castiel is sitting on the front of Lisa's steps. He's been sitting there since five and already more than one person has driven by, going someplace that Castiel will never comprehend, looking at him as if he's some weirdo, waiting to jump and kill Lisa and her son.

Soon he hears the front door opening, a pause, and then footsteps. A body plops down beside him, heavy sigh escaping his mouth. The man doesn't speak at first and just sits there with Castiel, looking out into the road. Then he speaks, breaking the comfortable silence. "How'd you sleep?"

"I didn't." He looks to Dean, wondering what he is thinking. Before, he would have been able to just pop into his mind, read it with ease. That was before Dean told him not to do that, that people's brains and thoughts were considered private. It's all very confusing to Castiel.

Dean looks at him, studies him for awhile, green meeting blue as they sit there in the chilly morning. Dean is wearing his blue jeans and black t-shirt, flannel button down shirt over that. He then has his black jacket on and Castiel is surprised he doesn't have his father's leather jacket on. Castiel himself is wearing his usual; suit with the dingy overcoat over all of it. It's starting to smell and he wishes more than anything he could use some grace to clean it.

Dean finally speaks after some time. "How come? You okay?"

Castiel looks down at his lap, a feeling rising in his chest. He doesn't know what he feels towards Dean. All he knows is the feeling appeared as soon as he touched Dean, looked into those green, broken eyes, and that as soon as he became human, the feeling intensified by a hundred. "I… just couldn't seem to fall asleep." He looks to Dean but the man isn't looking at him. Instead he's looking out into the road. "What about you, you're up early?"

Dean nods slowly and then huffs a laugh. "Yeah I… I couldn't sleep either." He gives a smile but Castiel can tell it's fake. "I just… I miss Sam, Cas."

"Dean… if it's worth anything," Castiel begins, wanting to absorb the pain that is radiating off of the man sitting beside him. "If I could, I would try to retrieve your brother for you."

Dean snorts and Castiel tilts his head in confusion. Why would Dean laugh about something like that? What was funny about it? "Yeah…" He doesn't say anything else and Castiel gives up on waiting for an explanation on the laugh.

The door opens then and both men turn around and see Lisa standing in the doorway. "You two are up early. Why don't you come in and I'll make you some breakfast." She smiles and Castiel realizes why Dean likes her so much. She has a pretty smile and Castiel knows that he will never have a smile like that, he's too awkward and socially in adequate.

Dean stands up, patting his shoulder quickly, and walks towards Lisa. "Morning."

"Morning." She kisses him and a foreign pain shoots through Castiel's chest.

"Cas you coming?" Dean asks, turned around to face the former angel.

He looks from Dean to Lisa, trying miserably to hide what he's feeling. "Yeah, of course." He follows them inside, watching as Lisa hangs all over Dean. Castiel looks away, the feeling of anger and pain growing in his chest.

He's confused, confused on what Dean and him are. They fornicated that one night but now Dean wants to forget that that even happened. So what are they, friends again? Was that night just an act of a desperate man to take something sacred from Castiel and distract himself from the upcoming pain of losing his brother? The more Castiel thinks about it, the more he seems to think that is what happened.

He sits down at the table, not next to Dean because he doesn't want to invade in that personal space Dean always tells him about, but not directly across from him because he knows Lisa will want to sit there. Soon a plate is placed in front of him and he looks at the contents. It's a round mound of some sort with this sticky brown liquid poured on top of it. "What is it Dean?"

Dean chuckles and Castiel doesn't miss Lisa's confused look. "It's a pancake Cas." Castiel looks up at Dean's smile. It's like Lisa's smile, beautiful. "They're good, try some."

Castiel doesn't need to read Lisa's mind to know the woman wants to ask how he didn't know what pancakes were but when she opens her mouth to speak, she says something different. "So, Cas," The nickname that Dean gave him so casually out of the blue that one day, sounds weird coming from her. "How'd you sleep?"

He quickly glances to Dean to make sure he is allowed to tell her the truth but he is looking down at his plate sadly. He turns back to Lisa who is now sitting next to him, waiting for a reply with only slight interest in her eyes. "I didn't sleep."

"What?" She feigns concern though Castiel can tell it's only half assed. "How come, was the bed comfortable enough?"

"The bed was not the problem." Castiel answers. "I just… I'm not used to sleeping yet."

He realizes that was the wrong thing to say as soon as Dean clears his throat, drawing the attention to him. He's not showing any emotions and Castiel hates it when he does that because Castiel _wants_ to know what he is thinking, what he is feeling, that way he can do whatever it takes to fix it. "Should we get eating?"

Lisa shoots a look to Castiel and then back to Dean. With a big sigh she says, "Yeah." and then begins eating in silence.

Not too soon after, Ben comes down the stairs, groggy and half awake. He stops when he sees Castiel but then shrugs and dishes himself some pancakes. "Good morning sleepy head." Dean says as Ben sits down next to him, across from Castiel.

"Good morning." He says, voice crackly from sleep. He then eyes Castiel and after some hesitation he reaches over the table. "Ben, you must be Castiel?"

Castiel nods and takes the boy's hand awkwardly. "Y-yes."

"So you're a friend of Dean's?" Ben asks innocently. Castiel knows it shouldn't be but the sting is there.

"Yes… a friend." He says, suddenly losing his appetite. He looks to Lisa, wishing he didn't have to at all. "Thank you for breakfast."

He pushes his chair away and stands. Dean opens his mouth as Castiel picks up his plate. "Wait Cas, you've hardly touched your food."

He stares at Dean, trying to mask the pain that he is feeling. "I'm not hungry Dean."

It's funny, Dean looks shocked and slightly guilty but what does Dean have to be guilty for? Castiel begins to walk away, carrying the plate in a way to make sure no syrup is spilt. "Cas wait." Dean follows Castiel out into the kitchen and he really wishes he didn't. He doesn't want to be alone with him. "How come you're not hungry? You haven't eaten anything in at least two days, you have to be hungry."

Castiel looks at Dean, sad eyes gazing at him. He doesn't know how to answer that question but he knows that if he doesn't, Dean won't stop being concerned and possibly blaming himself for Castiel's lack of appetite. "I'm just not Dean. I don't understand what you want me to tell you."

"Bull." Castiel is taken aback from Dean's outburst, the oldest Winchester looking at him angrily. "This is because of what I did, isn't it?"

"I don't understand." Castiel says truthfully.

"Don't start that." Dean says, taking a step closer. "You know what I'm talking about."

"Dean," Castiel says, lowering his voice to get the point across. "None of this is your fault."

Dean looks hurt and it confuses Castiel. "How can it not… we…" He doesn't continue and Castiel can't keep the composure up, feeling the heaviness rest on his shoulders like the weight of the world. "Never mind." Castiel watches as Dean walks away, retreating back into the dining room. He knows that Dean didn't want Lisa knowing what they did and that is why he didn't continue.

Castiel sighs, letting his shoulders slump with the weight that seems to be pressing on them. It is a weird and new sensation to Castiel. He's not really sure what to make of it so he decides to ignore it, walking pass the table that Dean is sitting at once again.

"Cas, wait." He faces Dean who is turned around in his chair to peer at Castiel. "Lisa and I were just talking and once I'm done we're going to go out and get you some clothes."

Castiel looks to Lisa, wondering how Dean can go from looking guilty to casual. "All of us?" He shifts his eyes to Dean again.

"Well, not all of us, just you and me." Dean corrects and he looks sheepish, uncomfortable. "Lisa and Ben have other things they need to get done."

Castiel's eyes go to the floor, not wanting to look at how uncomfortable Dean is. He wonders if Lisa can tell as well or if it's just him. After all, he and Dean do share a profound bond. Maybe that bond isn't as profound as Castiel once thought, however. "Okay Dean." He looks back up, trying desperately to hide the pain that is in his chest from showing. He's not even really sure why his chest hurts so much. Maybe he'll ask Dean about it later.

Dean takes one last sip of his coffee and gets up, going around the table and kissing Lisa. The pain in Castiel's chest intensifies to a stabbing prickle. "Guess we'll go now. See you later Lisa."

He walks pass Castiel and the former angel sees Lisa looking at him with questioning eyes. "You okay Castiel?"

He snaps out of his reverie. "Y-yes… I'm fine." He turns on his heels and follows Dean out to the Impala that Castiel has learned Dean loves so much. "Dean, why do I need new clothes?"

Dean gives him a sideways glance as he slides the keys into the ignition, starting the Impala with a purr. "'Cause you can't wear the same thing day in and day out Cas, it's not sanitary." Castiel scrunches his eyebrows together, looking at the man who is pulling out of the driveway confusedly. Dean glances at him. "Don't give me that look."

"What look?" Castiel asks, tilting his head.

"That one, the one you're giving me right now." Dean clarifies and Castiel looks away from him, relaxing his face. He hears Dean sigh beside him and the rest of the drive to the clothes store is spent in silence. When Dean parks the car, he doesn't get out immediately, shutting off the engine. Castiel looks at him, sensing something is coming. "Cas listen, I'm sorry."

"For what?" He asks.

Dean darts his eyes to him but doesn't keep them there, studying his hands and twirling his ring in his fingers. "You know what never mind." Castiel opens his mouth to protest but before he can say anything Dean is out the door and walking briskly to the store entrance. Castiel hastily follows behind him.

They look at racks and racks of different clothes. It's all overwhelming to Castiel and he feels the need to get away, another feeling that he has never experienced. There are so many articles of cloth that you can wear on your body and Castiel wishes Dean would stop asking him if he wants this and that. If Castiel is honest, he really doesn't care, he has yet to develop any sense of fashion or taste so he agrees with whatever Dean holds in front of him, asking if he likes it. He trusts Dean's fashion knowledge more than his own so he sees no harm in doing so.

Dean, however, soon catches on and eventually stops asking Castiel all together and resorts to throwing clothing pieces into the cart Dean had Castiel push around. "There, I think we are done." Dean finally says after throwing the last pair of jeans in the basket. "Ready to go?" Castiel is too eager in nodding his head but he doesn't care, he just wants to get out of the store. Dean pays for the garments using previously hustled money. While driving down the road, music playing softly in the background, Dean says, "When we get back you should probably take a shower." He glances at Castiel to see if he understood and Castiel quickly nods. "Good."

When they get back Dean tells him he'll place the new outfits on the bed in the spare bedroom while Castiel heads in the direction of the bathroom. He enters a room only to realize that it isn't the bathroom but has a bathroom within it. He looks around, wondering if this is the correct bathroom.

Shrugging, he enters the bathroom and searches for the towels. He finds them neatly stacked, dark blues and greys, in a cabinet. Castiel quickly starts the shower up and undresses, dumping his dirty clothes in the hamper that is in the room. He steps into the shower, adjusting the water temperature to the perfect degree as it plummets from the nozzle and onto Castiel's back.

He stands there, trying to figure out how long he should stay in there, when the door opens. Castiel, being the socially awkward person he is, doesn't think anything of it and just continues to stand there, relishing in the feel of the water messaging his back. For all he knows, the other person could be Lisa or even Ben.

But it's none of them and Castiel finally does stiffen when the other person begins to speak. "Lisa," Dean's voice rings out. Castiel opens his mouth to correct the man but before he can Dean continues. "I hope you don't mind Cas being here. I know you thought that when I came you thought we could form something but once Cas came into the picture as well you thought differently." Castiel closes his mouth, the human feeling of curiosity nagging at the back of his head. "I just want you to know that Cas is a good guy and we can still form something if you want." Castiel has to cover his mouth with his hand to stop him from gasping. "Cas… he's a little socially awkward and if you ever feel like that around him, that's probably his fault, but just give him a chance, okay?" Castiel lowers his hand to his side. "I know I'm messed up right now but I'm willing to give this a shot if you are."

Castiel knows he's saying it because he promised Sam but it doesn't stop that pain in his chest from forming again. After a pause Castiel can sense the confusion from Dean. "Lisa?" He doesn't know what to do. What will happen if he doesn't answer? Panic arises in Castiel's chest. "Hey Lisa you even listen-" Dean cuts himself off as he peeks around the corner of the curtain and sees Castiel standing there. "Cas?" There's a second pause before Dean whips around and heads towards the door, face a bright red. The panic rises to the boiling point and Castiel quickly steps out of the bathtub and in front of Dean, blocking his path. "Cas, get out of my way."

"No." Castiel says defiantly.

"I'm not going to have this conversation with you when you're dripping wet…" Dean swallows. "and naked."

He tries to push pass the fallen angel but Castiel side steps, blocking his way once again. "Dean please wait, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Dean looks pissed but there's also something else. "What is wrong is the fact that you just heard me say something that you weren't supposed to hear." His voice is deep and gravelly with anger.

Castiel tilts his head with furrowed brows. "I don't understand the problem."

Dean swallows again and Castiel's eyes follow the motion. "It was private, Cas. Why didn't you tell me it was you?"

Castiel hesitates in answering. "I… was curious."

"Curious?" Dean's jaw goes taut and he tries to get pass Castiel again only to have the ex-angel block him once more. "I swear Cas if you don't move I'll…"

Castiel takes a step towards Dean. "You'll what?" He practically whispers.

"I'll…" He watches as Dean swallows again and those green eyes drag up his body only to rest on his lips. "I'll…" Castiel hears the man whimper and then there's soft lips pressed into his.

Castiel quickly reciprocates the kiss and Dean pushes Castiel's body against the closed bathroom door, hands going to his shirt to pull it off. Castiel gasps when Dean pulls away and pulls his shirt off only to return his mouth on his neck. Their bare chests slide against each other's, Castiel's making Dean's wet.

Castiel hears the zipper to Dean's jeans and soon they hit the linoleum floor with a thud. Dean's boxers are the next to go and once both of them are naked, Dean guides Castiel over to the shower, mouth on his again. They both step into the shower and the water hits both their boiling skin, washing the sweat that was accumulating on their membranes away.

Castiel gasps again when Dean wraps his mouth around one of his nipples, grabbing the bar of soap and slicking up his hand. Dean stands back up and begins kissing Castiel's lips once more, slipping his tongue inside the hot, wet cavern. He reaches around the former angel and presses a finger into his hole and Castiel jumps at the sudden intrusion.

"Calm down Cas." Dean reassures, using his other hand to stroke Castiel's hardened penis. He adds a second finger and soon Castiel finds himself facing the white tiled walled, hands splayed out for support. Dean slowly pushes into him and Castiel has to squeeze his eyes shut at the pain.

He thought it would be better since he already did this forbidden act with Dean a few days ago but it would seem that it isn't better, that it feels just like the first time. "Damn it Cas…" Dean groans. "You're so damn tight." Castiel can't help it, can't hold it back. He groans in pain and lets out a struggled breath. Dean immediately stops and Castiel wishes he could take the pained noise back. He wants to please Dean, give him what he needs without complaint. "You okay?"

"Y-yes." Castiel mentally beats himself for letting his voice shake like it did.

"Don't lie to me." He feels Dean's lips kiss his shoulders. "If I'm hurting you, you let me know."

He takes a silent breath, determined to not have his voice shake again. "I'm fine, please continue Dean."

"No." Dean doesn't move. "I'm not going to go if it's hurting you."

"Dean," Castiel tries again. "It's okay, it doesn't hurt that much now that you've stopped for a little bit."

Dean looks skeptical, weary. "You sure?" Castiel nods. "Okay but if you need another break make sure to tell me."

"I will." Castiel says though he's lying. He won't let Dean suffer just because he can't take a little pain.

He takes a sharp intake of breath when Dean begins to move again. Soon they're going at a steady speed, the pain now gone. They're both panting, gasping, groaning, and moaning in pleasure and when Dean finds that special place inside Castiel, Castiel literally sees stars, spilling all over the wall and Dean soon following.

Dean rests his forehead on Castiel's shoulder before pulling out gently. There's a moment of uneasy silence before Dean breaks it. "We should probably clean up. How far did you get in your shower?"

"It depends, how long was I supposed to stay under the spray of water?" Castiel asks seriously.

A look of confusion wipes over Dean's face. "What do you mean?"

Castiel clarifies. "That's how you shower, correct? Stand under the water for a certain amount of time and then you're clean."

Dean bursts into laughter. "No." He says in between breaths. Once he's calmed, he straightens out and looks Castiel in the eyes. "You telling me you have no clue how to take a shower?"

"It would seem so." Castiel answers.

Dean shakes his head and turns Castiel around, grabbing a bottle of some sort. He squeezes the contents onto his hand and then begins massaging it into Castiel's hair. "If you didn't know how to take a shower, you should have just asked."

"I thought I knew." Castiel claims.

"So that first time you took a shower, all you did was stand under the water for a certain amount of time?" Castiel looks over at Dean and sees him smiling as he focuses on his hair. It causes a flutter of something in Castiel's chest as he nods to answer Dean's question and the man chuckles with amusement. "You take that bottle, it's called shampoo, and rub the soap that you squeeze out of it into your hair. It gets your hair clean." Castiel faces forward again and sighs at the feel of Dean's hands gently scrubbing his head. His hands soon retreat and Dean nudges him. "Okay, get under the water with your eyes shut, you don't want soap in your eyes or else it'll sting like hell, and rinse the soap out."

Castiel follows his instructions and gets under the spray, closing his eyes tightly. He feels Dean's hands on his hair again, rubbing the soap out. Then Dean is pulling him back and turning him around. "That should be good. Now what you want to do is take this, a bar of soap, and lather your hands with it and then with the soap on your hands, scrub your body." Dean hands him the soap and Castiel takes it, twisting it in his palms to get his hands nice a sudsy. Once he's done with his front he reaches behind himself to do his back. Before he can reach his butt, however, there are two hands there cupping his cheeks. "You don't want to forget your ass." Dean swallows.

"I wasn't going to." Castiel blurts, eyes meeting Dean's.

Dean opens his mouth but nothing comes out and then, as soon as they were there, his hands are gone. "Right."

Castiel quickly grabs Dean's wrists and pulls his hands back to their place where they were seconds earlier. Castiel steps forward, making himself and Dean flush against each other. He watches as Dean swallows again. "I never said I didn't want help." Dean's lips move but still nothing comes out and Castiel presses his lips to Dean's soft ones. He then brushes his lips ever so slightly against the shell of Dean's ear. "Why don't you help me…"

He hears Dean swallow this time and the man groans quietly. "Cas we… we can't."

"Can't what?" Castiel whispers against his ear.

"Ca-can't go another round. I don't know where Lisa is and I really don't want her walking in on-" Castiel pushes away from Dean, angry that he mentioned her. He pushes far enough away that Dean isn't even close enough to touch him, the pain in his chest coming back. He finally decides the pain is associated with Dean himself. "Just… rinse off, okay." Dean steps aside and Castiel gets under the spray.

He doesn't look at Dean, feeling hurt and about ready to cry… or at least that's what Castiel thinks the feeling is. Once done he doesn't wait for Dean. Instead he steps out and wraps a towel around himself, going back to the spare bedroom and ignoring Dean calling him back.

Once in the room he slams the door. He doesn't mean to but the pain in his chest is causing water to drip from his eyes and roll down his cheeks. He tries to stop it while he pulls on a pair of boxers and grey sweat pants Dean insisted on him having, but can't. They continue coming while he pulls on a navy blue sweat shirt and sits on the bed. They don't stop for a little while but soon Castiel finally gets control of them and manages to stop them just in time for a knock on his door.

He opens it to see Lisa standing there. She smiles at him. "Snazzy. Dinner is ready if you're hungry."

He follows the woman down the stairs and takes his previous seat, avoiding eye contact with Dean. Tonight they are having spaghetti with meatballs. Throughout the whole dinner, Castiel avoids anything and everything to do with Dean. He doesn't look at him and he certainly doesn't talk to him. He's hurt by the way Dean treated him and he knows it. He just doesn't know why it hurts him so much and what he feels every time he is close to the Winchester. At a time like this Castiel wishes Sam was there, that way the fallen angel could ask him what exactly he was feeling, after all, he can't ask Dean. Dean is the sole reason why he feels this way and besides, Dean doesn't like talking about feelings.

After dinner, Castiel helps clean up the table. He dries the dishes as Lisa washes them, Dean and Ben in the living room picking out a movie. It is Ben's idea to watch a movie and when Castiel tried to get out of it Dean didn't allow him to. After they are done with the dishes, Lisa leads the way into the living room. She takes a seat next to Dean on the couch, cuddling up to him, while Castiel takes refuge in a lone chair. Ben sits on the floor, back leaning against the couch.

During the previews something comes on and a saying catches his attention. "Is that true? That people say that it hurts like 'Hell' when seeing the person you love in the arms of someone else?" He asks.

Lisa chuckles and is the one who answers him. "Yeah, it is. It's a figure of speech really." She turns back to the television when she notices the movie is starting and leaves Castiel to contemplate what she just said. It's confusing to him. Obviously nothing compares to the torture of Hell, so why say it? But then he begins to understand when he looks to Dean and that same hurt swirls in his chest.

People say that seeing the love of your life in the arms of someone else hurts like Hell. Though that's obviously an exaggeration, it comes pretty close to the truth, and right now, though Castiel doesn't know what he feels towards Dean, seeing Dean wrapped in the arms of Lisa makes him feel like he's entering Hell to save Dean all over again, except this time he'll leave empty handed.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. :)**


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